Category self

Sobriety and the unveiling of, well, everything.

When you’re sober, you’re yourself all the time. With the exception of a deep sleep where my subconscious takes over, I am thinking, feeling, and living every second of my life. That is not to say that those who partake in drinking or drugging aren’t themselves, but (for lack of a better word) I am […]

gone dark.

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is hostile. Love is cold. Recently I fell in love with someone for the first time in just about 5 years. Head over heels. When your heart breaks you swear to yourself you’ll never be so foolish again. You’re vigilant in your declaration at first, but over time […]

par for the course.

That first night I wore camouflage and lost the jacket but found you. I lost myself that night. Most all at once then the rest in the days I loved you. The man who moved into the apartment after we’d left blew his head off somewhere in the room we used to sleep. I stared […]

Me Too.

-Trigger Warning- To give some context to the “me too” movement, it is more often than not a daily issue. When I get dressed in the morning I consider where I’ll be driving (neighborhoods). Walking (streets). Standing (concert, line, park, store, gym). Sitting (public transportation, movie theatre, event). I think of the time of day. […]

Past the Feeling

On the eve of one of the biggest drinking holidays of the year, I find myself once again mulling over my relationship with alcohol. The other day I watched a National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism HBO documentary called Risky Drinking.  To qualify as a risky drinker, a woman has to drink more than three […]

Feet on the ground. Head in the sky

I like turbulence. When you’re a passenger on a plane your fate is decided. There’s nothing you can do to change the outcome of the flight. It’s one of the few times in life when that’s the case. I guess I’ve always thought of flying as a break from worrying. For some, flying has the […]

Oh Kaptain, My Kaptain

There has been a lot said about Colin Kaepernick. I will admit, when I first saw the headline I made an audible sound of disgust and told my little sister he already had spent plenty of time on the 49ers bench. We were lying in bed and I was just about to go to sleep. […]